The Gift

Monday, November 19, 2012

The Gift - Unconditional Love

Lately, I've been getting a lot of questions on birthmom's, regarding openness, how they choose us the adoptive parents to-be, how this decision will change their life, etc.  So, of course I thought I'd take a few minutes to blog about it.

Our agency, Chosen Child, just posted a video titled, "The Gift", which is a birthmom's video to her unborn child and how she chose the adoptive family.  It is a BEAUTIFUL video.  Another great website to take a look is BraveLove, http://bravelove.org.

If after reading the below you have any question just let me know.  Blessings!

Adoption Statistics

There are many misconceptions about adoption that troubles both prospective birth parents and adoptive families. Adoptive parents may wonder if they will be able to love an adopted child as much as a biological child, and sometimes birth parents worry that their adopted child will have ill feelings toward them, to name a few.

Outside of some adoption professionals, adoption activists and the adoptive families and birth parents themselves, little has been done to change these perceptions.

However, the U.S. Department of Health and Services has posted the latest adoption statistics taken from the 2007 National Survey of Adoptive Parents (NSAP). This is the first empirical study with quantifiable evidence that can be used to combat common misconceptions that prospective birth parents and adoptive families have about adoption. These adoption statistics prove many of the more widespread misconceptions to be false.

General Adoption Misconceptions vs. Adoption Statistics

Misconception: “Will the adopted child be loved as much as a biological child?”

This is a very natural feeling that both the adoptive family and birth parents share before entering into an adoption. Any fears of the adoptive family not loving a child simply because it doesn’t have their genes are immediately eliminated as soon as the adoptive parents first lay eyes on their baby. This is true in nearly every single adoption.

Look no further than how the adoptive parents interact with the adopted child: Nearly 3 out of every 4 adopted children ages 0-5 are read to or sang to every day, compared with only half of non-adopted children who receive the same attention from their biological parents.

Furthermore, well over half of all adopted children eat dinner with their families at least six days per week.

It’s no surprise that the adoption statistics show how much adoptive parents cherish the time they have with their children. They appreciate every day the opportunity to be a mom and a dad, and it shows.

They are the first ones at their son’s soccer practice, and they are in the front row of their daughter’s play. Their lives quite literally revolve around their children.

 At first glance, the statistic about the majority of adopted children being read to every day may not seem like much, but looking further into the stat gives a glimpse into what adoptive parents are all about. Couples who struggle with infertility gain an astounding appreciation for the gift of parenthood. Adoption presents the couple with another chance to reclaim their dreams of raising a child, and it shows in the little things, such as reading to him or her before bed.

Another national adoption statistic says that 9 out of every 10 adoptive couples said the relationship they share with their adopted child is “very close,” and nearly half said that their relationship is even “better than expected.” Also, more than 9 out of every 10 people said they would “definitely” make the same decision to adopt again.

These statistics are remarkable considering all of the special needs babies that are adopted and the other complexities that may occur through adoption. These statistics proves that no matter how difficult the adoption process can be emotionally, the end result is what matters and that the family unequivocally loves the child.

Birth Mother Misconceptions vs. Adoption Statistics

Misconception: “My child will hate me because I placed her for adoption.”

This feeling was produced by people and media that are inexperienced in adoption. An extended family member or a friend who may not agree with the pregnant woman’s desire to place her child for adoption may say that the child will hate her if she goes through with it. Similarly, some television shows and movies have unjustly portrayed adoptees in this way as well.

The adoption statistic shows that over 90 percent of adopted children ages 5 and older have positive feelings about their adoption. Most adopted children are raised in happy homes by loving adoptive parents, so why would an adopted child hate his birth parents, the ones who provided him with a great life and his mom and dad?

Misconception: “Once I place my baby for adoption, I will never see her again.”

At one time, this misconception was not a misconception at all – it was reality. It was thought that the adoption process was easier for each member of the adoption triad if the birth mother went on with her life not knowing anything about her child. However, much has changed in the past several decades regarding the amount of openness in adoption.

Today, most adoption professionals agree that at least a semi-open adoption – the post-placement sending of pictures and letters through agency mediation ¬– is good for all parties because it creates healthy relationships between each. Keeping at least some contact with the adoptive family gives the birth mother the peace of mind that she made the right decision by placing the child in a two-parent, loving home. It reminds her that she can feel good about her decision, instead of bottling up her emotions and trying to forget about it.

In fact, 100 percent of all birth mothers have the right to choose the amount of openness in the adoptive relationship, and she will select the family that is open to her request. This has resulted in 67 percent of private adoptions having pre-adoption agreements of at least a semi-open adoption. The 33 percent that don’t have pre-adoption agreements are at the request of the birth mother.

Misconception: “My child won’t know that she was adopted.”

In the past, adoption was very “hush hush.” The birth mother wouldn’t tell anyone she was pregnant and in some situations she would even take a several-month-long vacation to have the baby and place him or her for adoption. This feeling toward adoption was also seen by adoptive parents who wouldn’t tell their child that he or she was adopted, just because it was such a delicate topic back then.

As previously noted, the adoption world has changed: Today, 99 percent of adopted children ages 5 and older know that they were adopted.

This is proof that any sort of stigma that adoption may have once had has since lifted, and nearly all adopted children have a story of where they came from and who they are.

Misconception: “Adopted children are not as healthy as non-adopted children.”

This false misconception stems from the many inaccurate stereotypes about birth mothers, when in fact they are almost always no different from the adoptive mother, just in a different circumstance. Some feel that birth mothers won’t take care of themselves and the baby while she is pregnant if she is placing the baby for adoption. This is, quite simply, untrue.

85 percent of adopted children are rated to have “excellent” or “very good” health.  The national average for non-adopted children is 82 percent, according to The National Center for Health Statistics.

Misconception: “Adoption agencies withhold relevant information about the adoption, birthmother and child.”

As early as the 1960s, state adoption facilities thought it was better to withhold medical records because they wanted to respect the child and not release it until the child was 18 years old. They thought that by not disclosing his or her medical records, the child would have a better chance of being adopted. This practice obviously ended up doing more harm than good.

After many lawsuits and a general shift in perception, today state governments, private agencies, and many state laws and regulations mandate that all known medical information is disclosed to the adoptive family. This information is extremely important to have so the adoptive family knows any health concerns about the adopted child, and so the adopted child knows how to take care of him or herself.

More general adoption statistics on the birth mother:

- Birth mothers have higher educational aspirations, are more likely to finish school, and less likely to live in poverty and receive public assistance than mothers who keep their children.
- Birth mothers delay marriage longer, are more likely to eventually marry, and are less likely to divorce.
- Birth mothers are more likely to be employed 12 months after the birth and less likely to repeat out-of-wedlock pregnancy.
- Birth mothers are no more likely to suffer negative psychological consequences, such as depression, than are mothers who rear children as single parents.

Other General Adoption Statistics:

- 2007 breakdown of adopted children in the United States: Private domestic, 677,000 (38 percent); foster care, 661,000 (37 percent); international, 440,000 (25 percent).
- 62 percent of children adopted privately are placed with the adoptive family when they are newborns or less than one year old.
- 21 percent of private adoptions are transracial.
- 88 percent of adoptive parents describe themselves as a “happy” couple, while 83 percent of non-adoptive parents describe themselves as a “happy” couple.

Education Adoption Statistics:

- At American Adoptions, over 95 percent of adoptive families have a high school education and over 90 percent have a bachelor’s degree. Nationally, adoptive parents have at least a high school education in 79 percent of private domestic adoptions.
- Adopted children ages 6-11 are just as likely to read leisurely as non-adopted children.
- Children adopted privately are more likely to be engaged in school than are children adopted internationally and through foster care.
- 85 percent of privately adopted children ages 6-17 engage in extracurricular activities.

Home/Neighborhood Adoption Statistics:

- 100 percent of adopted children through American Adoptions are placed in two-parent homes.
- Almost half of privately adopted children are the only child living in the home.
- Adopted children are more likely to live in neighborhoods that are safe, that have amenities and are in good physical condition than are non-adopted children.

For related reading, please visit:

-Growing Up Adopted: Study Highlights Health, Happiness of Adopted Children
-Impact of Adoption on Adopted Persons
-Source: McLaughlin SD, Manninen DL, Winges LD, Do Adolescents Who Relinquish Their --Children Fare Better or Worse Than Those Who Raise Them? Family Planning Perspectives, 20:1 (Jan. - Feb. 1998), pp. 25-32

Adoptive Family Misconceptions vs. Adoption Statistics

 

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Another Home Study .... Completed and Passed!!!

That's right folks we just had our second home study and we passed it, again.  Hooray for us!!!  LoL 

We love our agency, Chosen Child, so we looked at our Home Study as a nice L O N G visit with some wonderful people, all with one common goal.  To connect loving babies into loving Christ center homes.  Now, we just have to wait for God's perfect timing.

Our agency is continuing to place babies (newborns) and recently a 18-22 month old into loving homes, so we rejoice with them as they being this new chapter in their lives.  It is a exciting time for both our "waiting families" and our agency, as well as for the birth moms as they now know their babies are in safe and loving homes.

We are thankful that God is already using this avenue for us to become parents and to bless and help others in there journey.  As always, we give ALL the glory and praise to God because we know without Him this never would of been possible.

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." - John 14:18 (NIV)

Blessings!



What is Adoption Day? - November 17, 2012


What Is Adoption Day?

Adoption Day Is Part of the National Adoption Month Celebration

November 17, 2012, will mark the 13th year for Adoption Day, which is part of National Adoption Month. of a permanent home and family.
The History of National Adoption Day
·                        2000 - National Adoption Day began with the Alliance for Children's Rights and support from the Freddie Mac Foundation, the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption, and others. Hundreds of adoptions were finalized in 9 jurisdictions.
·                        2001 - The number of jurisdictions increased to 17.
·                        2002 - Assistance from Casey Family Services, Children's Action Network, the Congressional Coalition on Adoption Institute and Target. This support brought 34 jurisdictions to National Adoption Day and 1,350 adoptions were finalized.

·                        2003 - 3,100 adoptions were finalized and 120 jurisdictions participated in the event.
·                        2004 - 3,400 adoptions finalized at 200 events in 37 states.
·                        2005 - The largest number of coast-to-coast celebrations for National Adoption Day to date! More than 3,300 children's adoptions were finalized from foster care in 227 events in 45 states and the District of Columbia.

·                        2006 - More than 250 events in all fifty states including the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico! More than 3,300 adoption were finalized.
·                        2007 - More than 300 events were held in all fifty states including the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico.
·                        2008 - More than 4,000 children across all 50 states found loving, permanent homes.

·                        2009 - A total of 345 Adoption Day events in all 50 states, the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico with more than 4,500 children adopted from foster care!
·                        2010 - A total of 4,800 children were adopted from foster care and finalized in court on November 20, National Adoption Day in 2010.
·                        2011 - Close to 4,800 children found forever families on the 13th annual National Adoption Day, this included about 400 cities.
Each year, more and more children are being adopted on Adoption Day and the events are becoming more widespread. In total more than 40,000 children have been adopted from foster care on National Adoption Day.
Goals of Adoption Day 2011
·                        Finalize adoptions from foster care in all 50 states
·                        Celebrate and honor all families that adopt
·                        Raise awareness about the 107,000 children in foster care waiting for adoption
·                        Encourage others to adopt children from foster care
·                        Build collaboration among local adoption agencies, courts and advocacy organizations Through the help of adoption professionals, child advocates, judges, and attorneys, thousands of children in foster care will finalize adoption and become part

November - National Adoption Awareness!


November is National Adoption Awareness Month and November 17th will
mark the 13th year for Adoption Day!
 
Ephesians 1:4-6
 
4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5 he[a] predestined us for adoption to sonship[b] through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves
 
 
 

History of National Adoption Month

In 1976, the governor of Massachusetts, Michael Dukakis, announced an Adoption Week for his state. Later that same year President Gerald Ford proclaimed that Adoption Week would be celebrated nationally. According to Child Welfare Information Gateway, President Reagan proclaimed the first National Adoption Week in 1984. As more and more states started to participate in Adoption Week it became clear that more time was needed for holding events and in 1995, President Clinton, proclaimed November as National Adoption Month.
 
The celebration usually includes National Adoption Day with courthouses throughout the nation participating and hundreds of adoptions being finalized simultaneously.
 
National Adoption Month is a time to celebrate family and to bring about awareness that there are hundreds of thousands of children in foster homes awaiting adoption. States, communities, and agencies hold events during the month to bring the need for families into public view.
 
For information on what you can do to help the children who are waiting for a family contact your local state agencyFor information on celebrating see Celebrating National Adoption Month with day by day activities.

In Memory of My Dad

It's been awhile since I blogged anything mainly because we had a sudden loss in our family.  My dad, whom I was very close to, passed away from a heart attack at the age of 71 the end of October. 
 
The following picture is one of many favorites of my dad.  It was taken back in 1995.  My dad had a very dry, but crazy funny sense of humor.  In this picture he came running out of my parents bedroom while we where making pies for Thanksgiving and "flashed" us with his AA shirt.  I can only imagine what he said.

So, thankful that I get my personality from this man, along with my organization!


I've decided that maybe this crazy performance steams from an early scene that dad use to do when my brother and I where younger, when I our hero wasn't dad, but The Incredible Hulk.  That's right we were religious about watch The Incredible Hulk each week.  You see when David Banner would start the change from man to "hulk" dad would sneak out of the house and come BURSTING through the front door just as he was turning into 100%  "hulk".  Seriously, it would FREAK us out every time, but we loved it!!  (we were probably about 5 & 9)
 
Over the years, dad had a number of health problems, but it never stopped him and he was always fighting to regain more and more of his independence.  I'm so grateful for so many things from my dad and I'm so blessed that we had a strong relationship and that he adored my husband. 
 
He, along with my father-in-law are our biggest fans regarding the upcoming adoption, and this would of been his first grandson/daughter.  So, my heart breaks a little knowing the he won't know his grandson/daughter this side of heaven, but I do rejoice knowing that he is once again a whole man and is in a better place who rejoicing with Christ and my beloved Nanny (grandmother).
 
So, Dad I love you with all my heart and I thank for everything you've given me and taught me.  Thank you for teaching me how to play all the "boy games" growing up and I promise you that your grandson/daughter will know who you were.
 
I love you, your beloved daughter.